The idiot’s guide to getting well again…

Posted by Lipglossiping On February - 26 - 2013

When you’ve been unwell for longer than a few days, it takes time to find your feet again. Although your body may have valiantly shrugged off the last of the lurgy, it can take your emotions a little bit longer to recover.

I don’t mean to sound emo, I’m actually feeling quite chipper on the surface, and yet… definitely not back to normal. Pile onto that a bit of guilt at not being up to par blog-wise, work-wise, diet-wise, even mummy-wise and the need to re-balance becomes essential.

I know that I’m more of a review/swatch blog, but lately I feel a little more like just… talking, or even just exploring what else I can bring to the blogging table. Please don’t feel as if you need to listen, I talked on here (and my old blogs) before I knew any of you, and I’m sure I’ll continue long after you get bored with me. I’m just feeling a little disillusioned with blogging, it’s been that way for longer than I’d like to admit but I’m not sure how to mend it. If I took my own advice, I’d probably have a break… step away from wordpress, twitter, my online existence for a while. Except, how does one box up their online life until they’re ready to rediscover its contents when it’s such a huge part of who they are?

Eleven years ago, I wrote my dissertation on virtual communities, I met my husband-to-be in a chat room, he makes online flash games for a living, and I… well I contribute to the household income by writing a blog. Approximately 93% of my friends, I met online and communicate with… online. I’d need a fucking big box wouldn’t I?

The blogging community I was once proud to be part of has evolved into something different, as things tend to do. I’ve never blogged for fame or with any desire to be a blogging it girl and I have never been comfortable pr-ing myself. I’ve never been part of a blogging network and I’ve never seen this as a stepping stone to something better. I rarely attend events because I hate networking and putting on a facade of confidence which positively drains me the next day. I tried upping my competitive nature for a short while but it made me unhappy. The only undercurrent of a desire except for the enjoyment of blogging has been to earn enough money so that I can do it without being a drain on my family. I’m not sure that this is entirely possible without a legion of You Tube fans or at the very least, one hell of a killer instinct.

So, instead of taking a step back, I’m just going to accept that I may need to diversify as the year progresses. Will I have to go and find a “proper” job? Maybe. Do I want to? Hell no… I’ve loved enjoying spending so much time with Leila, it’s been a privilege that I don’t want to give up. But, she’ll be starting school this year and I do miss blogging for nothing other than the sheer love of it, so perhaps it will be for the best.

I think Winter does this to you, I’m aching for the warmer weather that signals the start of our geocaching season. Now that Leila is bigger, she will hopefully, finally show an interest in some wonderful weekend-long treasure-hunts with her Mum and Dad. Moving into the flat meant that to a certain degree, last Summer was a bit of write off… we were so busy fretting over starting our new life, that we forgot to actually live it. Christmas was amazing, as it always is but when my sister returned home to Australia, I think she took a bit too much of my heart with her.

You see, I’m not really sure what I’m saying… but I’m glad I’m saying it. The perils of wanting to be a pro-blogger without wanting to always conduct yourself in a professional manner are playing havoc with my blog relationship and as with any relationship, they all require hard work and a lot of honesty.

Don’t reply. I’m not fishing for comments… I’m just alleviating a bit of my blogging-guilt. Tomorrow, I’m building Leila a wendy house from the huge cardboard box that her “big girl’s” car seat got delivered in, and who knows… I might even bring myself to give away that massive bar of Fruit & Nut Dairy Milk that’s been doing nothing for my diet-guilt.

Down with guilt x

18 Responses to “The idiot’s guide to getting well again…”

  1. Veronica says:

    IMO, beauty is something that runs much deeper than a new lip shade or eyeshadow. It’s about cultivating the self that feels beautiful enough to wear those things. My feeling – this is your blog, do what you feel you should with it, even if that means taking a hiatus or altering its style so that it attracts a wider community of people. Considering the amount of time and effort that blogs require, there’s no reason to let it swallow up so much of your life if it isn’t giving you the payoff you deserve.

    (Personally, I think everyone reaches a moment where they tire of technology and just want to reconnect with the world for a bit. I’m reaching a point where I want to disown my internet community for awhile just to remind myself that I can. Some limitations are unavoidable, others not so much.)

  2. Catriona says:

    Your blog was the first one I started reading and it’s still one of the first I click on in my Bloglovin feed. That’s because you’re not one of those carbon-copy “It” bloggers – I don’t need to read 5 identical reviews of the same lipstick from the latest event. I like the way you write and your sense of humour.

    It’s great that the blog has allowed you to spend time with L (who is ADORABLE!). :) I hope you can blog for enjoyment soon. :)

  3. T-rex says:

    Hi Char,

    I’ve seldom, if ever commented on your site, all too willing to be a silent reader who LOL all the time at your language and how you poke fun at yourself.
    I love the odd blog posts that’s NOT about beauty, parts of your life, how you’ve lost weight, dealt with PCOS, etc.
    Love the posts on Leila, wordless wednesdays, the wonderful pictures of your family in snow.

    I personally have no issues with you posting up non-review/swatch stuff up and would like to read more.

    Cheer up, we’ve all felt the same at one time or another [bloody don’t wanna work today!]


  4. Bora says:

    (warning: I’m writing this from the underside of a cupcake so do as I say not as I do).

    Blog when you want to, need to, have something to rant or rave about but if you take time off for a while, we’ll still be here :)
    When it starts to feel like a chore or burden then you know it’s time for a breather. There are enough things in life to feel guilty about, this is your space and universe. You dictate the pace. For your readers it’s a privilege to visit and read your blog, but not a right. Hope you feel back on top health wise soon.

  5. Jo says:

    I only got tinternet at home a couple of years ago and I only follow 2 blogs religiously and yours was the first. I really like make-up and being in the Falklands I don’t have much opportunity to explore the new products on the beauty counters. I really enjoy reading about a fantastic new lippy or a mascara that doesn’t live up to the hype etc but I also like your WW posts and ramblings but your total honesty in your posts is probably what i enjoy the most. I am also a stay at home mum to 2 boys and whilst I’m not saying that I feel a personal ‘connection’ to you or anything I do feel that you through your blog are very relevant and relatable to me. But I would hate to think that you giving me what I enjoy is making you unhappy. If you did a fortnightly roundup of new stuff you’ve found I’d still be happy with that. And I have bought products as a result of your reviews and have been happy with them, so thank you for that.

  6. Jasmine says:

    I’ve been reading for a very long time, and would honestly be heartbroken if you stopped blogging. I know you’re not saying that you are but I thought I’d get that across anyway. Life is so fragmented nowadays and I think that many of us conduct parallel online/offline lives without giving it a second thought. What once would have been considered a weirdness is now pretty normal, although you sound like an early adopter!

    I came here for the beauty but I stayed for the connection. Reading your blog is a comfortable pleasure that’s as much a part of my day as my afternoon cuppa and biscuit, they go hand in hand perfectly! I’ve read before about your struggles with monetizing, both emotionally and practically and I’ve never had any issues with you doing so. I’m sorry that it’s not working out for you – I’d honestly have secretly imagined you’d be quite rich the way you hear about “super-bloggers” and the like.

    I’ve always gotten the impression that you live blogging with a genuine passion and I think it’s this that makes me confidently state that I’d keep reading regardless of what you blogged. You were made for beauty blogging though, you carry a great red lip and make something that’s so wrapped up in fluff, real and attainable for the average person like me.

    I know you said no comments (and I’ve given you an essay) but I, like you, just wanted to talk. And this place always feels like an outlet for me too. Hope that’s not completely strange.

    Honestly? I think you sound like you need a holiday or a strike of inspiration rather than a full-on step back from your online life. You still adore it, you’re just disillusioned and I think many bloggers and readers are going through the same thing right now.

  7. Jasmine says:

    I’ve just re-read my comment, I sound quite judgemental and rather bossy. I mean it in the nicest possible way!

  8. ModestyBrown says:

    I really enjoy reading your thoughts, whether it’s makeup, dieting or just general chit chat. I think you have a significant audience that are here to read your words, not just for the makeup news. You should definitely have a go at exploring different topics or angles without feeling guilty.

    I feel like there’s something quietly brewing in the blogging community but it may just be a shift in the type of person that blogging appeals now to and the way they approach blogging. I don’t identify with the beauty blogging community in the same way that I once did. I feel too old and I lack the competitive streak that seems to be so evident now. Yet, at the same time, I don’t feel like my voice or contribution is any less valid.

    I’m not sure I’m passionate enough about makeup to continue writing about it in such a dedicated fashion anymore and I get the impression a lot of readers are suffering with a similar fatigue. Having said all that, I’m not sure *what* to write about instead?! I know lots of people have branched out into lifestyle or fashion blogging but I couldn’t do that, unless it was tongue in cheek! I point blank refuse to go down the parent blogging route, no bugger wants or needs my parenting advice. Hopefully inspiration will eventually!

    Anyway, I will shut up rambling now…
    Jane x

  9. MsWedgie says:

    I guess I was only really part of the BB community for a relatively short time but in those few years I noticed a change which made me lose interest/faith/enjoyment. I still toy with the idea of completely deleting my old blog and starting again afresh, but I struggle with the ‘what would I write about’ question as well.

    So many bloggers (not you) have become sooooo self obsessed with the ‘fame game’ and their posts became more about what PR’s wanted to hear rather than what they wanted to say. It just got a bit souless!! I still enjoy reading the blogs of those people who have that integrity intact but all the attention seekers have gotten way too irritating to have a spot on my timeline. Not quite sure where I’m going with this ramble?!?! Errrr…ahh yes I remember…I’d just follow gut instict and do what ever it is that feels right for you.


  10. Trona says:

    This is such a good post. I’ve only been blogging for a wee while but I’ve been feeling this weird pressure to “fit in” which wasnt making me happy so I just though fuck it. It’s my blog, I’m doing it because I enjoy it and I’m at home a lot due to disability. I always enjoy reading your posts and your blog is definitely one of my favourites. I love when you do a recipe post (chutney for example) or just post your photos so, you know, do what you want. Maybe diversification will help include the makeup posts, instead of feeling pressure to only include makeup.

    Trona @ayelined


  11. NeenaJ says:

    I know very little about virtual communities. I’m not a gamer and I don’t belong to any chat rooms or boards. But, I do read blogs (your blog being amongst the top) where I feel that there is meaningful communication and connection (even if it is about the latest crap mascara I’ve tried).

    No one can tell you what will make you happy – you are your own advocate in that regard. But, I will say that I came for the makeup but, I stayed for you, Charlotte. Your voice is a unique one and no matter what you decide to blog about, I will read it. Cheers from North Carolina!

  12. I can read nail polish reviews on anybody’s site. I choose yours. That’s because of the way you write it chick, so write what the hell you want and I’ll still read it!

  13. Maggie says:

    I hate that you are feeling down on yourself about whatever, but please don’t feel guilty about just writing random thoughts on your blog! I love seeing them, they make you more personable, as opposed to just being some chick putting on lipstick. It makes me trust the reviews that much more when I know you are a real person with a real opinion and not just saying you like/dislike a product when everyone else does. I love that this is a “real” place where you put what you are thinking or feeling and don’t just pretend.

    In short? Don’t change anything you don’t WANT to.

  14. FragrantWitch says:

    Your unique voice is what caught my attention and what keeps me reading and laughing. Your intelligence and humour shine through in whatever you choose to write about and, for me, that is enough to keep me reading whatever you write. You have ‘ the gift of the gab’ ,as my gram would have said, use it to express what makes you happy and I think you’ll find that passion generates its own audience! xx.

  15. Tahira says:

    I would be absolutely gutted if you gave up blogging, I’ve never commented before but love all your posts! Especially lifestyle posts and recipes …and just everything! You make me chuckle : )

  16. Kelly says:

    Yours was the first blog I ever read. Yours was the blog that inspired me to blog, but with honesty that can sometimes be lacking. Everyday when I type the letter l into my url bar Lipglossiping is the first thing to come up and the first thing to get clicked on.

    No matter what you write, be it a make-up review, a WW post, a life post, I read it. I just think you express your views in such a funny and real way!

    I avoid twitter so have not seen any rumblings of things in the blogging world, but I tend to stick with my group of nail bloggers, makers, fans on Facebook.

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