A nail polish remover designed by baboons with arses for eyes…

Posted by Lipglossiping On December - 19 - 2013

You know what you really want to deal with when you’re coping with a session of glitter nail polish removal?  Nothing.  You want to deal with absolutely nothing other than an effortless removal process.

You know you’re unlikely to get it though right?  I mean, glitter polish removal is well-known for trying the patience of even the most saintly among us.  But what you don’t expect is to get cut to ribbons* in the process.

The NPW Nail Polish Remover Tub is one of those “dip and twist” removal jobbies with a sponge inside that scours off your nail polish in just a couple of twists.  And remove it, it does.  I have no qualms about the quality of the product or its efficacy at actually removing polish, but the packaging… OH GOD, the packaging!

IMG_3184

Now, I don’t have the slenderest of fingers but neither are they banana-esque.  The NPW pot, however, has clearly been designed to accommodate the pinky fingers of 4-year olds.

You only need to glance at the stock image here to see how you might encounter a problem with this product.  As you twist your finger in an attempt to remove the polish, do not, under any circumstances allow your finger to flex… should your knuckle bend, you’ll be treated to the kind of plastic cut that a sheet of razor-sharp paper would be proud of.

Having said that, it’s achievable to remove the polish from all eight of your fingers without needing a first aid kit.  It’s the thumbs that you can kiss goodbye.

You see, by their very nature… thumbs are kinda stubby… they just don’t benefit from the same slender length that their brother’s and sister’s enjoy.  To remove the polish from your thumbs, you need to get that sensitive bit of skin between the thumb and the index finger perilously close to the knife-like edge of the pot.  You can see where this is going can’t you?

IMG_3192

Now, just like a paper-cut… it may not look like much but this bastard stings.

It stings even more when you manage to replicate the damn thing on the other hand, because then… not only is your skin slashed, but your pride irreparably damaged as you marvel at your complete idiocy for managing to do it twice.

That is, until you give the pot to your Mum to remove her nail polish and she manages to cut herself too.  Vindicated.

NPW, sort your shit out.

* minor exaggeration

** press sample


I am jinxed

Posted by Lipglossiping On September - 25 - 2010

The never-ending camera saga continues.

I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course it freaking isn’t.  Cos that kind of sharp practice is the norm these day, us consumers are clearly mugs.

So… I wait… and I wait…

The expected delivery day passes, and I give them one more day on top of that before I contact them again.

“We didn’t get stock as expected but will contact Canon and inform you within 2-3 days whether or not we can expect more.”

Firstly…

Why didn’t you TELL ME when the stock didn’t come in instead of letting me stalk the postman for 5 days like an expectant father and secondly, 2-3 days to find out if you’re EVEN GONNA GET THE BLOODY CAMERA that I ordered 2 weeks ago?

On your bike.

Then it gets funnier.

I ask for a refund and get told it will take 7-10 working days to process.  I don’t speak for a moment because I’m too busy trying to lift my chin off the floor.

.

I phone and get cross, they promise to process it within 3 working days.  I should fucking think so.  Though I’m still waiting…

3 days ago… I go somewhere else.

Bear in mind that this camera is now getting increasingly hard to find in stock because it’s just been superseded (hence me being able to afford the bugger!).  I need to get a wiggle on if I’m gonna be able to source one.

But source one I do.  Live stock update – 8 in stock.  Great.  Sold to the lady with the overused Paypal account.

I log on to Twitter and moan about my camera troubles but delight in the fact that I’ve finally got it sorted.

I follow a couple of great photographers on Twitter who by some strange photographer sixth sense (or maybe just a shared shite experience) BOTH basically (without ANY prompting) reply that they wonder if my previous experiences were with a company based on the I.O.M called S***** E********** who are apparently complete scum bags.

“No”…. says I as my head simultaneously hits the desk.

Why does my head hit the desk then?

BECAUSE THAT’S WHO I’VE JUST GONE AND BLOODY RE-ORDERED THE SODDING CAMERA WITH!

Are you still with me?  This rant has basically turned into a stream of consciousness and I apologise for the lack of grammar and fragmented sentences.

So, here I am…. 2 weeks down the line.  One failed attempt at getting a camera (and still no refund).  2nd attempt currently underway with a company that has a reputation for being completely crap and not holding stock when they say they do.

I phone them and try to squeeze the info out of them.  “You do actually have physical stock right?”… They answer in the affirmative-ish… but are more keen to keep repeating the line that stock was ‘allocated’ to me when I placed my order.  I’m not fully convinced.

And then…..

This afternoon, I get a phonecall.

“Hello, Lloyds TSB Fraud Prevention Department here.  We’ve declined your payment of £689.90 to S***** E**********.  Please confirm that you made this order.”  I confirm, but that doesn’t change the fact that the payment’s still been declined and needs to be made again.  It’s Saturday.  Can’t do it.

I’m on holiday tomorrow and GOD KNOWS how I’m going to be able to sort this mess out and re-order with what is (possibly) a completely shiteous company anyway on Monday.

I think I need a desk to strap to my head permanently.

RANDOM

Move over Seche, there's a new kid in town...

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

Sometimes, it takes a little bit of hindsight to fall in love...

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

Did you guess? Wahanda Mob Deal – Fish Pedicure!

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

I'm such a scab...

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

Guest Post: How to beat The Oilies

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

BBLL - Saturday 14th August 2010

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

The Lipstick League – week of 13.5.13

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

Dr Hauschka gets edgy with Louise Amstrup SS/12

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

Skincare goes minimal (and really rather good!)

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

Pick your own!

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

POPULAR

CLOSED: Competition Time: Givenchy Very Irresistible L'eau en Rose Perfume!

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

CLOSED - Win it! The Body Shop Expert Brush Collection

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

Win a gorgeous "glow" trio with prizes from Urban Decay, New CID, & Arbonne!

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

Hello? Is this thing on?

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

Avoid the brush off with Oral-B Pro-Expert

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

Big savings on French Pharmacy brands, win my Escentual.com top picks!

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

Win it! 3 EcoTools Bamboo Bronzer Brushes to win!

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

FOTD Busting out of the comfort zone!

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

Dear Obesity...

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

Urban Decay The Black Palette - Photos & Swatches

The never-ending camera saga continues. I buy a camera nearly 2 weeks ago.  It’s in stock and ready for next day delivery.  Except of course …

COMMENTS

  • Categories

  • Archives

  • Admin

  • Ads