China Glaze Fast Track NOTD

Posted by Lipglossiping On April - 18 - 2012

It’s like that time I found out about coconut m&ms (did the m&m website really just age-check me?!), I can’t remember where… some foodie blogger who was baking immense cookies with them or something.  Oh, how I hungered for the crunch of a more tropical m&m… I thought about ordering online but realised that if I’d ordered enough “candy” to make the postage worth it, I could kiss goodbye to both my diet and ever-decreasing arse.  So I waited.  And I waited.  I contented myself with peanut M&Ms as my weekly treat but it was never quite enough.

Then one day.  I snapped.  Actually, I think it was about three days later, but whatevs.

I don’t know if I’d dreamt about them but I woke up with a mission, and one that I was going to fulfil if it killed me.  We were going on a roadtrip and I WAS going to have my coconut m&ms damnit.  We jumped in the car, Leila still rubbing her eyes after being dragged from her bed (don’t worry, I made it up to her with a Tootsie Roll) and we headed up the M3 in search of Shangri-La.  Or the Stateside Candy Co. in Aldershot as Mr. L called it.

I bought two packets.  And some root beer, mac & cheese, cheetos and Vanilla coke… what?

Well anyway, I got back to the car… cracked open my Vanilla Coke (O.M.G) and dipped into the bag of coconut m&ms.


A bit like this polish.

I wanted China Glaze Fast Track from the moment I saw it online, I mean… look at the bottle!  What in the name of all things sprinkled in gold shimmer could be more beautiful?  But on my nails, it just doesn’t translate so well.  There’s nothing wrong with it per se, it’s just that the base shade does absolutely nothing for my skin colouring.  Infact, it looks a bit fecal in an anaemic kinda way and no amount of beautiful golden sparkle can make a turd look good.  Unless, you completely obscure the turd with gold glitter, but this doesn’t do that.  I digress.  I didn’t mean to talk about turds either, sorry.

So yes, on paper… it’s a wonder, but when you get down to it… like coconut m&ms. it just leaves me feeling a bit, disappointed.

China Glaze Fast Lane is available to buy as part of the Hunger Games collection, priced at £6.59 from Sallys

* I want to live off cheetos and mac & cheese for the rest of my life. Orange food ftw.  Oh and these mini-doughnut things that must have been packed with enough preservatives to restore the defunct do-do.

20 Responses to “China Glaze Fast Track NOTD”

  1. NeenaJ says:

    Thanks for making me laugh this morning! Staring at a pile of work (it’s 9 am here) and really needed it.

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  2. Nora says:

    Can I say I like the look of it very much, at least in your pic? Maybe in real life it looks awful, but in the photo your fingers look very pretty, a very delicate colour…

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    • It’s ok Nora… I’m exaggerating my dislike of it but on my skintone, there’s just too much “sheer yellow” which gives an overall slightly dirty appearance… if that makes sense!

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  3. Luisa says:

    Hahaha! Charlotte, it is almost midnight here, I am in hospital awaiting my final antibiotic drip for the night and I am cracking up laughing at your Coconut M&M and assorted bad food road trip!

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  4. Sydney Kav says:

    Good lord, the polish in the bottle looks glorious!
    A terrible shame that it came out not exactly how you (or I) wanted.

    P.s. is it called Fast Track or Fast Lane? (As it says both in the post)
    MIght have to give it a go anyway, even if it means I just end up staring at the bottle instead of using it!

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  5. Sara says:

    I think this is my favourite of your posts! Sorry about the colour, but thanks for the excellent anecdote.

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  6. EmmyJean says:

    You’re feakin’ hilarious :D Love reading your posts!

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  7. I was allover this. This was the only one from that collection I was really keen on, well this and that silver one with the brushstrokes, and everyone said “Ugh brushstrokes!” and I thought but the brushstrokes make it looks like a brushed chrome kitchen and it was cool. Where was I? Oh yes. Well I saw your picture and I still loved this one, and I read your review, and I thought about eating some peanut m&ms, and I read that you thought the polish was meh, and I thought “you’re wrong, Charlotte. You’re wrong.” And then you said it looked like poo. And now I don’t want it anymore.

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  8. Erin says:

    I’m an American reader and I love your blog. I do want to say though, FWIW, the raspberry m&m’s are MUCH better. And you guys don’t have the orange Mac-n-cheese?! That’s crazy! I practically grew up and that stuff. And seriously, I’m with on both the Cheetos and the polish. Yum and blah.

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    • Hi Erin!

      Don’t give me another craving!! I found out recently that one of our supermarkets DOES carry M&C (though probably at a rip-off price!)

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  9. Janie says:

    Totes agree about the Coconut M and M’s. Surely the biggest disappointment EVER. Good job you got Mac and Cheese as recompense.
    My love for the stuff is beyond all else. Have you tried Lobster Mac and Cheese? Now that is something else. 3 weeks until I go to the US on business, and I’m seriously dieting so that I can devour Mac and Cheese, Sour Patch Kids and Hershey Nuggets without anyone noticing upon my return.
    Ps: The China Glaze is naff. Try ” Swing Baby” instead. It’s a darker more metallic version and is amazeballs

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    • Janie, janie… how fat do you want me to be?! I heard you can get Mac & Cheese in one of my local supermarkets. This is both BRILLIANT and AWFUL. I’ve never even had lobster before (let alone Lobster M&C!)… honestly, I’ve led a very sheltered life.

      I’m googling Swing Baby!

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      • Janie says:

        Haha. Yes Tesco is stocking the Kraft stuff ( hidden in the World Foods Aisle). Seen it in my local, which is London, but not hugeo.

        Would love to hear if you like Swing Baby. It’s become a staple of mine. My other favourite China Glaze is Naughty and Nice. A very lovely vampy shade which for me trumps Lincoln Park both versions OPI, and lasts for seriously 4 weeks plus on my toes.

        Keep up the fabulouso work :-)

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  10. liloo says:

    decidedly looking different from the colour in the bottle once applied on the nails. maybe it could be salvaged as a top coat?
    i think you might be ready for irreplaceable from essence ;)

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