It’s like that time I found out about coconut m&ms (did the m&m website really just age-check me?!), I can’t remember where… some foodie blogger who was baking immense cookies with them or something. Oh, how I hungered for the crunch of a more tropical m&m… I thought about ordering online but realised that if I’d ordered enough “candy” to make the postage worth it, I could kiss goodbye to both my diet and ever-decreasing arse. So I waited. And I waited. I contented myself with peanut M&Ms as my weekly treat but it was never quite enough.
Then one day. I snapped. Actually, I think it was about three days later, but whatevs.
I don’t know if I’d dreamt about them but I woke up with a mission, and one that I was going to fulfil if it killed me. We were going on a roadtrip and I WAS going to have my coconut m&ms damnit. We jumped in the car, Leila still rubbing her eyes after being dragged from her bed (don’t worry, I made it up to her with a Tootsie Roll) and we headed up the M3 in search of Shangri-La. Or the Stateside Candy Co. in Aldershot as Mr. L called it.
I bought two packets. And some root beer, mac & cheese, cheetos and Vanilla coke… what?
Well anyway, I got back to the car… cracked open my Vanilla Coke (O.M.G) and dipped into the bag of coconut m&ms.
A bit like this polish.
I wanted China Glaze Fast Track from the moment I saw it online, I mean… look at the bottle! What in the name of all things sprinkled in gold shimmer could be more beautiful? But on my nails, it just doesn’t translate so well. There’s nothing wrong with it per se, it’s just that the base shade does absolutely nothing for my skin colouring. Infact, it looks a bit fecal in an anaemic kinda way and no amount of beautiful golden sparkle can make a turd look good. Unless, you completely obscure the turd with gold glitter, but this doesn’t do that. I digress. I didn’t mean to talk about turds either, sorry.
So yes, on paper… it’s a wonder, but when you get down to it… like coconut m&ms. it just leaves me feeling a bit, disappointed.
China Glaze Fast Lane is available to buy as part of the Hunger Games collection, priced at £6.59 from Sallys
* I want to live off cheetos and mac & cheese for the rest of my life. Orange food ftw. Oh and these mini-doughnut things that must have been packed with enough preservatives to restore the defunct do-do.