The sky outside is slowly darkening, the tea lady was last seen leaving with the Kit Kats well over an hour ago and is showing no signs of returning. You can’t remember whether you left enough food for the cat and you know that you forgot to set the Sky+ for Eastenders. For the love of all things way-past-5pm, when is this meeting going to end?
There’s only one thing for it.
Heads slowly turn toward you as you sit there, nonchalantly filing your nails with a chainsaw… or a hunting knife… or maybe a machete…
“We’ll pick this up again on Monday shall we?” says the boss, darting from the room, pushing back her chair with such force that you’re genuinely surprised it didn’t make a cartoon hole in the wall.
Now, to find that tea lady…
‘Dangerous nail files’ are a range of high quality nail files made in the USA in the shape of weapons and tools, designed by Shelly Getzendanner from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. They come individually packaged at £7.95 each and will be available at The Conran Shop this month.
I NEED THESE IN MY LIFE.
On a side note, you have pretty much just summed up my entire day. It’s rather eerie actually..
I’m liking these. I’m not sure if the razor or the bogstandard knife is creepiest. Maybe knife. I think you’d have to stare at whoever was speaking, just stare, not blinking, filing. Perfect. With any luck they might never want to speak to me again.