Fake Bake – The future of sunless tanning?

Posted by Lipglossiping On February - 10 - 2010

I don’t claim to be a fake tan expert.  Infact, I’m the opposite.  I’m your bonafide fake tan dunce.  I’m so pale that in certain light my skin takes on that blue/grey fishbelly tinge… blue/grey… fishbelly.  Sexy.

Bronzed is something I’ll never achieve naturally.  I went to Australia for 9 months and friends still dine out on the fact that I returned paler.  I have been endlessly fascinated by fake tan solutions, but infinitely frightened of waking up the next morning looking like a bad parody of a Ganguro girl.

Fears aside, my interest was piqued when I saw a press release for Fake Bake’s new Platinum Facial Self Tanner.  It describes itself as the next generation of self-tan.  “Why?” I hear you cry… (yes, I do!) …because my dear readers, it contains pioneering Apple Stem Cell Technology.

“What’s Apple Stem Cell Technology?” I hear you ask, mouth’s wide open in anticipation… (shut up, you’re practically on the edge of your seats innit).  Dunno… hands up if you know what Apple Stem Cell Technology is?  I take it we’re talking Granny Smith’s finest and not Steve Jobs right?

Oh no wait… *reads press release*… ok… check this:

Not just ANY Swiss apple. RARE Swiss apple.  They only fall from trees on a Tuesday in a month beginning with the letter J and only if it’s a full moon.  Of course, I jest… I’m really none the wiser though.  But it sounds good, and I think I might want some regardless.

Just think though, how mega young would we look if  we actually ATE this RARE Swiss apple instead of fake tanning with it?  Maybe that’s Demi’s secret? The apples are only rare ‘cos that greedy bitch is having them shipped by the container load direct to her breakfast table.

Wanna know how to get your hands on this RARE Swiss apple goodness, and get bronzed and gorgeous while you’re at it?

Fake Bake Platinum Face Self-Tan is launching into Salons and retailers nationwide this month priced at £29.95.


6 Responses to “Fake Bake – The future of sunless tanning?”

  1. Maybe if we all ate rare Swiss apples we’d turn into Benjamin Button and start ageing backwards, until we’re eventually a fetus 😀

  2. Lucy says:

    I don’t get it – why is the rare apple making it so much better? I feel so confused…

    I do like Fake Bake though, so maybe I’ll try it – I’m such an easy sale.

  3. Suka & Spice says:

    I’m with you on this one–I never use tanning products…or else I can count the number of times on one hand. I don’t totally get the appeal, and I’ve spent AGES in the s.pacific, to return to the cold weather, not be a shade darker. Although the flip side is..if I’m to stand outside in the sun for even a minute, you’ll find a purse, backpack or tanktop tan line.

    I will say though–the packaging on this one, and the rare swiss apple thing makes me a bit intrigued… leave it to you to find it :)

  4. Redtiger21 says:

    Yeah i don’t spend much time with fake tan stuff- i have a bottle of St Tropez that i used once nearly 5 years ago, daren’t use it now cos it’s probably gone manky, yet i’m loathe to chuck it out as it’s only half empty! I sometimes use gradual tanners, but even that’s a bit of an effort cos they streak sometimes, and despite what anyone says, i can STILL smell the fake tan-ny smell!

  5. NV Beauty says:

    Yes, I agree with the fake-tan scent! You can always smell it–sooner or more often times, later.

    Let us know if you used this and how it worked–unless I missed that post.

Leave a Reply to Suka & Spice

RANDOM

Inexpensive Beauty Find: Marks & Spencer Limited Collection Liner in Turquoise

You know how I love to come across an unexpected beauty bargain?  Well, this one is my latest and it’s from the M&S debut Limited …

Fragments of the last few days...

Go and fill the kettle. I’m on one. With the weather refusing to admit that Spring is around the corner, I decided to give it …

FOTD - Dior Holiday 2009

Help, get me a Nanny! My beautiful little girl was up at 5am this morning, team lark all the way.  I am exhausted, I have …

Organic Surge give it their (and our) all to charity with a new handwash!

We’re used to seeing beauty brands give up portions of their profits to charity, ten percent here – fifteen percent there and in spirit of …

A year on Lipglossiping – Lookback (December 2009)

December passed me by in a bit of a flash.  Aside from growing fat(ter) on Quality Streets and Dry Roasted Peanuts, Christmas got cancelled thanks …

Workhorse Cosmetics: Dior One Couleur Eyeshadow in Trendy Taupe

workhorse: noun. Something, such as a machine, that performs dependably under heavy or prolonged use. Dior’s One Couleur Eyeshadow in Trendy Taupe is one of …

Inexpensive Beauty Find: Imperial Leather Limited Editions!

Twice a week, I’m instructed to make bubble monsters of varying shapes and sizes.  Some are scary, some are friendly… some exist for mere seconds …

Wordless Wednesday

Seeing as I’m in London for the tail end of the week… a fitting Wordless Wednesday.

The Lipstick League – week of 21-5-2012

Gouldylox Reviews – Just in case your beach plans fell through this weekend, here is a list of everything you’ll need to prepare for summer. …

Shopping and Spa-ing... Do you go it alone?

I’ve already declared my preference for shopping solo before… it’s a control thing. My tastes are probably different to yours and I don’t wanna spend …

POPULAR

CLOSED: Competition Time: Givenchy Very Irresistible L'eau en Rose Perfume!

Want to really spoil Mum this Mother’s Day?  Or perhaps you just want to spoil yourself?  It’s ok… I won’t judge… there are plenty of …

CLOSED - Win it! The Body Shop Expert Brush Collection

I don’t know about you, but I woke up this morning with a distinct “Hello Monday morning, I’ve been expecting you…” kinda feeling.  Maybe it’s …

Win a gorgeous "glow" trio with prizes from Urban Decay, New CID, & Arbonne!

COMPETITION NOW CLOSED! WINNER IS: “IZABELLA” (COMMENT #96045) – WINNER HAS BEEN EMAILED!   It’s still January, the MET office have just issued yet another …

Hello? Is this thing on?

Phew, that was a little unexpected. For those of you who haven’t had the misfortune of reading my hand-wringing tweets and woe-ridden facebook updates, let …

Avoid the brush off with Oral-B Pro-Expert

There’s a new toothpaste in town. It’s lean, mean and err not very minty as it happens.  Featuring the revolutionary bacteria-busting ingredient Stabilised Stannous Flouride, …

Big savings on French Pharmacy brands, win my Escentual.com top picks!

I’m of the firm opinion that for the money, French pharmacy brands offer some of the best solutions for diffcult skin-types. Escentual.com have long been …

Win it! 3 EcoTools Bamboo Bronzer Brushes to win!

I’ve written about these before, you know I love them, I want you to love them too! So why not have a go at winning …

FOTD Busting out of the comfort zone!

You may recall my bitter moans last week about how when presented with a rare opportunity to spend an indecent amount of time playing with …

Dear Obesity...

We have been together for over 20 years, our lives so entwined that I’ve never been sure how to live without you.  I would like …

Urban Decay The Black Palette - Photos & Swatches

The soon-to-be-released Black Palette from US eyeshadow maestro’s Urban Decay is an altogether darker affair than the recent Naked set… The Black Palette includes 6, …

  • Categories

  • Archives

  • Admin

  • Ads